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Eleven: Contrary to popular belief, opinions are not like assholes, because in today's gay world, assholes are glorious and sexy and displayed prominently in photos sent to you from potential suitors.

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Six: Unless he can juggle or tap dance in bed, "versatile bottom" means only one thing, so be prepared to take charge if things go well.

If you're lying when you call yourself a "versatile top," either call it quits now or start working on your oral communication skills.

Three: Do not "friend" your date on Facebook before or after the initial meeting.

If you're not a good match (and dates are like new restaurants; about one in eight survive), you're both going to share that awkward moment of "Do I un-friend him or keep reading about his 'Why do I always meet losers? Four: Even though gay men love to label everyone, they despise being labeled.

Sixteen: If, in the heat of the moment, you do find yourself in bed together after the date, remember to keep the foreplay going for at least 30 minutes.

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